Monday, January 31, 2011

Almost time to head back

Tomorrow is the first day of February which also happens to be the month that I return to my beloved outdoor ed job. In roughly two weeks I will be painstakingly packing my car yet again and driving two and half hours, unpacking, moving into (at this point an unknown) staff housing, and beginning yet another spring semester.

Spring semester is tough. It is a lot of fun and it flies by but it is challenging for many reasons.
1) Transition days. We have this way of jam packing six days of work into the typical Monday to Friday work week. This leads to days where, as a group leader, I may drop of my Mon-Wed group at an activity, run (though no running is allowed on camp...so only running the kiddos can't see me) to be in position to greet the Wed-Fri school that is arriving, play games with the new school, unload their luggage, orient them to cabin life, and then sneak back in to greet my original school, while furiously (but appearing to be calmly) flipping through my medical forms of the new school, eating a chicken finger (the obligatory two-lunch day meal) and loading luggage of the original school on the right bus, and running (again out of sight of the kiddos) up to the gift shop to sell some swag and wave goodbye to the bus, before hustling to the deck to meet my new field group and walk them into lunch. Once second lunch is over, things usually calm down quite a bit, but the transition is nothing less than a well-orchestrated dance, and that's assuming the buses arrive and depart on time (which lets be honest, happens more often than you might think). And then you spend the rest of the week asking the kids "Did I teach you this already?"

2)Younger students: As a whole, it is my perception that we typically have more 4th and 5th grade students during the spring semester than in the fall. We also have a couple of schools that bring a range of ages or some older kids. There are some great schools with some awesome kids. I just have to be ready to switch from fourth grade mode to ninth grade mode to parent mode in a very short amount of time.

3)MD Weekend: Those of you that have been on camp during MD weekend know what I'm talking about. Hopefully the weather will cooperate this year.

Once the season gets going, we are in full swing and busy busy busy until the end of the semester. One day it is February and shortly thereafter it's May and it's time for me to return to camp.

All that being said, the spring also provides great opportunities to improve. There are weeks when I look at my schedule and it makes me tired just thinking about everything that is packed into my days, and yet, at the end of the week, I can be proud of the work that I have done.

I do hope to continue to improve and grow as an instructor, as a return staff member, and as a friend. Here's to spring 2011.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Why teach in the elements?

I think there is one in any family, especially any family with several kids. You know what I'm talking about. There is often someone in the family who works outside. Our neighbors who lived across the street have a daughter who has lived in CO and does outdoor/biology research. One of the father's of one my friends from church recently told me that his youngest is into outdoor rec. And in my family, I am that person.

I need to be outside. It is a physical need for me. Maslow's hierarchy of needs for me includes at least 1 hour outside everyday. During the months of Mar-Nov, I work outside, so I meet that quota easily. But during the winter months of Dec-Feb, I have to make time. I walk outside a lot and I make time to go geocaching when I can. Sometimes I take two walks, especially if it is particularly nice outside, particularly snowy, or I'm particularly stressed.

It worries me that "kids today" may not be getting this sort of therapeutic connection with nature. When I walk, I'm often sorting through whatever is on my mind. I know that every person is different and handles various situations and stresses differently, but I've been stuck with this cure since childhood. In high school, when I was particularly stressed or busy, I often visited a local park to recenter my focus. But is this coping mechanism one that kids are not learning today?

Over the last month or so, on my therapy sessions outside, I've been sorting through a variety of questions. These include the following: 1) what happened at camp this summer and how 2011 will be different; 2) what happened at NC this semester and how spring '11 will be different; 3) how can I become the educator that I want to be? The reality is that all of these things are related. What conclusions have I come to? Good question. Let's see what I can tell you at this point.

1) To be successful at NC this fall, I must put the kids first which also means fully supporting and trusting the additions to the team.
2) To be successful at camp, I must delegate, communicate, and rely on my team. Interpersonal relationships will be the key to getting me through this summer. It won't be easy but these are skills I need to develop and improve.
3) Pursue training opportunities to further support my mission of being an educator and showing that camp professionals are, indeed, professionals. This includes as well as developing a brand for myself and marketing this to the outdoor, recreation, and camping community.

I have a little over a month until I return to NC and back into the "do" cycle of my year. In that time I have a lot of writing, researching, and reading to do before getting back to the grind. The grind that I adore.

Friday, December 3, 2010

It's about time to update again huh?

It was only about three weeks ago that my mom sent around her annual email to the kids that said, "Please send me your Christmas newsletter blurb." I always look forward to reading our own newsletter even though it is only about my family. There seems to be insight that I don't get from the other interactions with siblings. I also get a chance to try to live up to their accomplishments. Of course, now my siblings have children so I'm the nomad until I produce children as well (which seems to be quite a ways off).
That being said, welcome to 2010 ladies and gentlemen. When we last left off, I was preparing to head back to Alabama for another semester at my outdoor education program. The semester turned into a year. The staff turned into yet another phenomenal family who even though we've had some rocky times since, I would still trust each and every one of them with my life.
Summer 2010 was built to be the best summer of all. The Titanic of summer: unsinkable. It was destined to be awesome...Well, the Titanic sunk and so did my summer. And it wasn't the broken elbow. Or maybe the elbow was the iceberg that broke the ship. I'm not sure where that analogy was going but I do know that after about four weeks of summer, it tanked. My attitude plummeted as well as those around me (we do all live with one another after all) and I swore up and down again that 2010 would be my last summer at camp. I couldn't take it any more. It wasn't worth it...
And then the kids. It's always the kids who bring me back. 'Round about the time I was having my most vigilant protestations to ever returning to the place, two of the girls who I have had as campers with since they were in the fourth grade (who are now rising 8th graders) stopped me and said, "Ruby, you are coming back next year right? You have to come back."
Now I know they tell this to every counselor and that it's their way of making camp more comfortable each year when they return. I remember what it was like when I returned to my church camp that I had been attending summer after summer and there were almost no familiar faces on the staff. All the status I had worked to gain, the rapport with the counselors, the traditions that I knew...they were all gone. I know that their plea for me to return is a lot about their own self-preservation, but that's what always brings me back to camp is the kids.
I don't feel I made the time for the kids this summer like I needed to. I feel that I got so caught up in staff drama that for the first summer in a while, I truly lost sight of why I was there. And in the end, I lost all my fight. I gave up. It was worse than just giving up. I didn't care. And that hurt, but I let it go on and on to the point where I couldn't wait to get away. I couldn't even begin to mend what went wrong this summer because it hurt to much. It hurt even more when Cody tried to pull me out of my funk by fighting back at me with "You don't care? That's the very attitude we are trying to end every single day here among the staff." MY camp home--had I outgrown it? Was I expecting too much? Camp could go on without me anyway. I know that. It did for all the hours that I was in physical therapy mending my elbow. It goes on without me during leadership training and program training when I'm not there.
I almost couldn't get away from there fast enough. I worked a group here and there to earn the last little bit of cash, but I swore it was the last time...that I would go elsewhere this summer. Where? Who knows? But somewhere, anywhere else.
An opportunity arose for me to attend a regional camp conference. I jumped at the opportunity, and my OE boss was kind enough to let me out for 24 hours to go present at this conference. I would find a new boss, a new camp home, a new place to serve. But as I met other directors and heard about their programs, it was overwhelmingly clear how phenomenal our program is and how amazing my directors are, and how I needed to go back.
I'm sure you are screaming at your computer screen "NO! Don't do it!" and it comes rushing back to me occasionally too. But some of the issues have been addressed and can, at least at the beginning, try to be improved. There is big change within the structuring of camp this summer too. Change that needs to be supported. Change that can lead to opportunity. And time and time again over the course of the year, I have found that the skills that I have developed at camp have been life skills. Skills that I can use in other jobs and in other areas of my life. I can't deny what camp has given me. I've given a lot to camp but it deserves better than what I gave last summer.
All this being said, I needed this fall to be amazing. I needed our OE program to have that community of like-minded people, people who I would trust with my life. I had a great fall season, but it wasn't the community of our staff that made it great...well not in the sense that community has supported me before. No, it was once again the kids. It's always the kids.
They were eager to learn though they claim to hate thinking. They are forgiving and admiring even when I make mistake. They can be so brutally honest and so innocently kind. I learn from them each day and some days I wish I had a few minutes more to give them the opportunities to learn and explore that they don't get on a daily basis. I want to make them think and appreciate what they have been given.
I grew closer to some of the staff than I have before and I definitely would trust and have trusted some of them with my life. Others seem to pass in and hold a mirror up to some of my greatest flaws--the very flaws that I have to work out to make 2011 end better than 2010 did. The kids show me what I do well. The staff shows me what I need to fix. I fear that the spring might end up like fall 2010 did but I know too that I can make moves toward fixing what's broken and setting our new kids up for success.
There is work to be done no doubt. Though it seems I have finally secured a retail job for the holidays, when I'm not cranking away for the man, I'm going to be fixing me. I've been SO lucky this last year. I'm sure that my luck is about to run out--it must be. And when it does, I have to be ready to help those around to me success nonetheless. I can't give up. I can't fight back. I just have to ride the wave until next December when it's time for my newsletter blurb again. What will come in the next year? Can I make it work? Will the kids be happy to see me back? Will they demand that I commit to 2012 right then and there?
I've always been a vicious cycle kind of girl. I "do" for nine months of the year and "think" for the other three. Time to start thinking kids...

Monday, January 25, 2010

"But what do you want to do long term?"

That was the question posted to me this evening over dinner. It is not all that uncommon for somebody in my life to ask me what the next steps will be. But nothing makes me cringe more than this question. And tonight, it came from my dad.

I get it. He even told me tonight that parents just want to see their kids in a better place than where they are. My mom jumped in with "Well, I think when she has an announcement she will let us know."

I've been told that I need to settle. I've been told I need to go back to school. This just takes me back to the dreaded days at Sony when I realized that I have to make decisions for me, because I am the one who has to deal with them everyday.

I'm happy with my life and I've been blessed with circumstances that allow me to live the way I do currently. I know its not forever but I also don't know what's next. Do I know what I will be doing in five years? Well, does anybody really? I think I want to end up teaching but I'm not ready to go into a traditional classroom yet. I do want to go back to school and I don't think that "time is running out" because I'm sure as hell not getting married in an old-fashioned wedding anytime soon. I don't know what my path is. I hardly know what I am going to be doing tomorrow nonetheless in two years.

Over the break, Cody and I discussed the future and what I told her was "My life is unfocused. And two years ago that would have really freaked me out, but right now, I'm really okay with that uncertainty." My philosophy as of late has been to stay put until something better comes along or until I can no longer do the job I am doing now. I told her to do what she needs to do because realistically, what I will probably end up doing, I can really do anywhere.

It's not a matter of disappointment anymore. It's more a matter of sleeping easy at night. But, I don't have the answers. When they come, I'll let you know. Until then, accept what is and just be.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Wait, you've been doing what for a year?

"Previously on 'Ruby's Life'..."

Camera pans across to Ruby sitting inconspicuously at her cubicle typing away. Next, we see Ruby and a young man sitting on the front steps and she says, "Well, I guess that means we are breaking up then." The scene changes to her leaving the office for the last time. This fades to her carrying her belongings into a summer camp and pulling her hair back to avoid the heat. As she unpacks her stuff, the following is said...

VO: Being a 22 year old female in this world is impossible. Your friends are getting married and settled for life. Your parents expect you to find a comfortable job and comfortable benefits. And you, you don't know what the hell to do with your life.

A quick series of camp images follow and then cuts to Ruby sitting in the office saying "I don't know what's I am going to do in September." Another girl, who is a regular and significant cast member, responds, "You should look into Outdoor Education. I think you would really like it." Ruby pulls up the website and clicks on the "APPLY NOW" link. This fades to Ruby playing with campers and then stepping away to listen to a voicemail. We hear "Hey, I'm calling you to offer you a position for the fall" and Ruby making a silent celebration. We hear...

VO: Opportunities seem to come knocking when you least expect it. So you take life as it comes and make the best decisions that you can in the moment.

Ruby drives by a sign reading "Outdoor Education" She is quickly introduced to the other staff members and we see another montage of her teaching, playing with her co-workers, and finally signing her contract for fall 2009.


I know, it's quite possibly the most boring television show of all time. Actually, I really have no aspirations of it becoming a television show. I just felt that this would be a somewhat more creative way of presenting the last year of my life (though some names have been changed to protect the innocent). It's true that I left the music business life to work outside. I work at an outdoor education program on Lookout Mountain in gorgeous Mentone, Alabama. What is in Mentone? Well there are some camps and churches and rhododendron. We have the Little River and all its associated waterfalls. My program is located at one of the camps on the mountain. We have a phenomenal location and an interesting collection of people who change from season to season.

The past two semesters I have been fortunate enough to work with an amazing staff. This group of people literally became my family for 7 months of the year. We have varying backgrounds and educations and interests but we all love the outdoors and we all love teaching. Students come to our program with their school for some amount of time between a day up to five days. We have our own housing so we don't sleep in the cabins with the kids and we hike, teach classes, and lead large group activities and simulations.

I work from 7:30 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. four to five days a week and am exhausted most days when I return home. This program only runs during the school year (and selected months at that) and I have worked at my camp in Nashville during the summer.

I return to Alabama in three days and I am preparing myself for the old comforts of the job to be quite different this semester. We have four new staff members and I, along with my friend who got me into this job (this is semester number four for her!) will be living in a cabin instead of the staff house which is the homely homebase for our staff. The washer/dryer, refrigerator, and stove/oven and computers, will no longer be just outside my door. Rather, I will be hiking about 50 yards to get to the house with all those things. Instead, I will be living in a three bedroom, two bathroom, much more rustic cabin with my best friend (who I've essentially been living with for the last 15 months anyway...). I am eager to get down there to start rearranging and making the cabin ours while I'm also nervous to make the change. I might post photos of our humble abode via facebook or twitter later on.

It's long days but I'm pretty much living the dream. As I have conversations with visiting parents and teachers, they almost always tell me that they wish they had had the opportunity to be a part of such a program when they were my age. I know this job is not forever, but it is definitely for now.

I hope to find opportunities to update more often via this blog about my various adventures, but considering my schedule...I can make no promises. Twitter is generally the best bet because I can often find time to throw a quick 140 characters out there. But, before I sign off for the evening, I do want to share my goals for the season:
  • do Michigan, effectively, several times.
  • lead two groups to the falls.
  • increase my repertoire of classes that I am comfortable and confident teaching.
  • help organize and plan activities for the entire staff so we might become somewhat family-like.
  • pursue opportunities for further education and knowledge.
  • Choose my attitude.
Tomorrow I hope to see the new snow leopards at the zoo and Saturday night I hope to catch one more performance of Complete Works at Centennial before I head back to the mountain Sunday. I will always love Nashville for all it has to offer and I'm trying to get a decent dose of it before I leave.

So with that, it's time for bed. Nite.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Corporate Life.

It's officially been 3 months since I graduated from college and I am currently working at one of the prominent publishing companies in the music business doing data entry for a special project.

More than anything, working in the corporate environment in a cubical (which I swore I would never do) is making me want to own my own business.

That being said, I will be taking a hiatus from my career while I work at my beloved summer camp once again. But, if anybody asks, I will be doing "professional development" this summer as I will be in a managerial and supervisory role.

I think come September I am going to renew my interest in my blog and try to take it to the next level while doing whatever odd job comes along.

They weren't lying when they said this real world ain't all it's cracked up to be.

Friday, November 2, 2007

Internship number two is halfway over...

School has swallowed me whole this semester as I have been cranking through the requirements to graduate. My internship at a production music library company has been all in all successful and I have enjoyed both the people I am meeting and the work I am doing. I do lots and lots of paperwork each day and it is nice to look at a stack of paper and go "Yes, I accomplished something today." I guess that's why I want to go into administration. I can value my day's efficiency by how high the stack of paper is.